Tell the person how the silent treatment hurts and leaves you feeling frustrated and alone. That’s not what you want or need in a relationship. Explain that you can’t resolve issues this way, then be specific about those issues. If this sort of behavior is a relationship deal-breaker for you, state it plainly.
What does the silent treatment say about a person?
Research has found that people who received the silent treatment experienced a threat to their needs of belonging, self-esteem, control, and meaningful existence. This type of behavior reinforces the feeling that someone we care about wants nothing to do with us. It can feel as though you don’t exist.
How should I react to silent treatment?
“Communicate about the silent treatment, stating what you observe by using ‘I’ statements,” Gordon says. For example, you can say, “I notice you’re shutting down and not responding to me.” Then use more ‘I’ statements (because those don’t place blame on the other person) to explain how their silence makes you feel.
How long should the silent treatment last?
The silent treatment can last for hours, days, weeks or months. Some people do this because they are genuinely hurt and unable to speak. When they do feel able to talk, it’ll be a two-way conversation. A narcissist uses the silent treatment to punish you.
How do you outsmart the silent treatment? – Related Questions
Should I ignore silent treatment?
When used in relationships, silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse. Being ignored stimulates the part of the brain that detects physical pain, so the silent treatment is very emotionally and physically painful. It can lead to negative emotions, like distress and anger.
Is silent treatment a red flag?
Red flag. The silent treatment might seem like a convenient way to opt out of a conversation that is bothering you but it’s also super unhealthy. What most people don’t know, is that the cold shoulder is a subtle form of manipulation.
Does the silent treatment mean it’s over?
Research. Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner’s behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.
What kind of person gives silent treatment?
Avoidance: In some cases, people stay silent in a conversation because they do not know what to say or want to avoid conflict. Communication: A person may use the silent treatment if they do not know how to express their feelings but want their partner to know that they are upset.
Is the silent treatment ever OK?
While using silence sometimes is just a short-term way to cool down, the silent treatment becomes a problem when it’s used as a deliberate strategy to inflict pain and establish control. That treatment is never okay.
Does the silent treatment ever work?
Even when the recipient does manage to infer what they did to upset their loved one, the silent treatment fails to fix underlying problems in relationships — and, oftentimes, just creates more of them, Schrodt said.
Why the silent treatment hurts so much?
The silent treatment is a particularly insidious form of abuse because it might force the victim to reconcile with the perpetrator in an effort to end the behavior, even if the victim doesn’t know why they’re apologizing. “It’s especially controlling because it deprives both sides from weighing in,” Williams said.
How do you communicate with someone who shuts down?
What to do when someone you love shuts down
- take a break from, or “table” the conversation.
- write down your thoughts and feelings to revisit later.
- stay calm.
- don’t retaliate.
- don’t throw an adult temper tantrum.
- do something self-soothing.
- consider professional intervention.
When you ignore a narcissist silent treatment?
15 things that may occur when you start ignoring a narcissist
- They will give you an “apology”
- They may feel scared and anxious.
- They will be in a rage.
- They may continue texting you.
- They may set up sob stories.
- They may become manipulative to get you back.
- They will try other ways to pursue you.
Why do narcissistic people go silent?
The Purpose of the Silent Treatment
Essentially, the point of the silent treatment is to make the victim feel confused, stressed, guilty, ashamed, not good enough, or unstable enough so that they would do what the manipulator wants.
How do you get a narcissist to talk to you again?
Begin any discussion with a compliment, flattery, or praise in order to get the narcissist’s attention. To keep their attention, listen endlessly. This might be hard when narcissists repeat themselves, which they will hardly be aware of.
What is the narcissist thinking during silent treatment?
The narcissist’s goal with the silent treatment is to get you to think you are in the wrong, apologize, and then all blame is on you. They have effectively created a scenario where you have taken the blame while they sit back and wait for you to come to them.
What to do when narcissist ignores you?
When the narcissist ignores, try to remember it is about them and not about you, to help you feel more in control of a situation you have no control over.